I start to digress. Do i really know what i have done? Or am i just out of my mind?

I believe only that few actually can feel what i am goin' thru.

State of depression.

I am starting to get depress. Somehow.

Don't feel like eating. Tired.

Isomia.

WTF.

What can i do? Who is there for me?

I am so lost again.

Again.

PMS?? Maybe.

But I am just not the person i used to be.

I need something to spice up my life. I need some bitching ard.

I need to let go.

Let go of everything.

All i need now is some sort of antidote that will stop all this 'bad' negative attitude and feelings.

I feel so so helpless.

Molested. Helpless. What can I do?

Anyway, no body cares. So why should I bother?

I decide to drift away. To stop all contact.

I want to lead a different kind of life. I want to be free of trouble.

Tired.

Really tired.

No one to talk to.

Maybe there isn't really such a thing call close friend.

Where are they when u need them?

I loved him. I still do.

Him?? I dunno.

I wonder too.

Maybe remaining neutral is the best for both of us. Maybe we can start on new relationship without holding on to each other's path when it was never meant to be crossed.

I still can't let go of the past. I still feel the pitch of sourness and hurt whenever I think back of the past. I know I haven't been a goody girl too. I dun deny I am such a lousy gf. A loud, unreasonable, insensitive freaking bitch. I guess thats me.. nothing changes. I am still so lousy.

Haiz.

I am starting to feel numbed. Where's all that passion in me? All the adrenaline?

I have left my heart with him. No doubt. It's there alright.

Maybe I was meant to walk this path alone. Shouldn't dragged anyone with me.

for
Wee tien: Pls stop contacting me thru phone. I believe u can tag me here. I need my space.

Jen: thanks for all the support. But this i have to go thru myself.

Him: The very best is wished for U.

Everyone: No worries. No calling pls. I need time alone. Sms me if anything.

Something i find very useful for the ME now:

Let Go of the Past

Let go...
of guilt; it's okay to make the same mistakes again.

Let go...
of obsessions; they seldom turn out the way you planned.

Let go...
of hate; it's a waste of love.

Let go...
of blaming others; you are responsible for your own destiny.

Let go...
of fantasies; so reality can come true.

Let go...
of self pity; someone else may need you.

Let go...
of wanting; cherish what you have.

Let go...
of fear; it's a waste of faith.

Let go...
of despair, change comes from acceptance and forgiveness.

Let go...
of the past; the future is here- right now.

- Kathleen O'Brien