The worst day of my life...

Today.. i broke the heart of my dear.. i hurt my ex again.. why? why am i so horrible? ZZ broke of with me.. i am terribly upset. maybe after all that quarrel ,he is fed up too.. no one desereve to be treated that way.. i am so evil, heartless .. whatever vicious word.. can be use to describe me. i find myself so hopeless.. i feel like dying.. knowing that i dont have the courage to jump down .. or commit suicide torture me inside out. my heart is tore into million pieces.. where no glue can ever repair..sorry.. VERY SORRY for being such a terrible gf.