Jumping seats

Well, have u ever had a free seat beside u when taking the bus.. and then this lady/man would just slumped themselve into the seat? The next thing u you will be disturb by the sudden movement of the gushing air from the bottom of your cushion seat. Argh! Don't you just hate it. Or maybe it is just me? nonetheless, Doesn't the people know that it is kinda rude to just sit down so hard that the other party is having a bumpy ride? Hello, don't they know that they are not weightless? They can still fanciful settled themselve on the seat as if nothing. I mean with size of mine, u could practically see me 'jump' up of the seat.

Today just went to school for QnA for TanYK lesson. It was only for an hour and i am off. Went to look for past yr exam papers. Then, went to look for him. somehow, i can still feel the tension between us. He is still defensive and indifferent. I was affected but still i have my pride and ego, so i leave. No point dwelling on hard feelings again. I can't stand the way he treats me nowadays. It just pissed me off. His harsh attitude has drive me to become nuts... yet, i still have to remain nonchalent to the way he treats me.. laughed it off.
I can say that i have enough of this. Soon, i may be standing alone once again. What have i not done enough? Why can't i just let go? Why must this hurt so much so that i feel like dying? Where's my savior? It was him that i realize that there is love, yet it was also him that makes loving is miserable. So does love=miserable?

I may have my own set of thinking. I can be stubborn at times. I can be evil and selfish too. But i am still a human being. Therefore, i still suffer from the earthly nature of emotion. I cried vulnerably. I still hunger for someone who can share my fears and hugged me as if there is no tomorrow. I felt my world crushed into pieces just as if it was put into the blender. Now everything seems like an illusion. I have no clue to whats real and whats not. Mixture of feelings sweeped over me. My eyes are blurred, as if i am turning blind. Nope i am not turning blind but tears that well up my eyes. So useless April! Whats happening to you? Even when today i dress to look good becomes a chance for Mum to criticise my dressing.. saying that i dress too revealing, too sluty. comon' it's not as if no one in singapore dress in spaghetti?I was so angry.. so pissed. Just the beginning of the day to recieve such compliment.

Exams coming next week, so i should be studying now. Yet, my mind just can't seems to absorb anything. I just felt a need to express and ventilate my feelings deep within. Guess this may be my last entry till my exams. Will update u guys real soon.