I have notice that no matter how much i try to put into a friendship or a close relationship, things will always turn out negative. It may be all nice and sweet at the first place.. but eventually it turns sour and i'm lost. People whom i treasured turn their back to me. I wonder can i really trust anyone anymore. Maybe i should just stop committing my whole heart into all relationship. I ask myself why, over and over again. Yet i still don't seems to understand why...

I avoid, I run, I tried to keep myself occupied by stuffing myself with work, I try to numb the sadness that was cause by the disappointment from the failed relationship. I tried umpteen time to comfort myself that there are always other around. No one can truly understand why i can't get over such 'small' matter.. Beneath that strong-willed face of mine, lies an emotional and fragile me.

That's why i said before, and truly it still stands strong in my heart. I'm not suitable for any relationship. Especially close ones. I shall take it slow.. this time around i will take it slow.

Depress or not, I will get over whats said and done. I'll respect all decision made. I need a break.. maybe some sort of isolation. I'm getting tired of all this sh**. Need some time to reflect upon myself. Will anyone be there to guide me?

Haven't had tears dripping over my cheeks for such a long time. This strange and familiar sensation brought back many memories.. good and not too good ones... TEars are my company tonight. Good night...