Well, things between me and ZZ is getting from bad to worst. We seems to be distanced from each other.. no phone calls.. only a handful of sms. i dunno what i can do.. it is driving me nuts.. why must i get into this type of confuse state again. Why cant i be happy with my life. i think i am just a bitch.. i feel like one.. even think like one. i just cant put my feelings into words.. it is just too complexed.. Maybe at the first place i shouldn't have started this relationship. Now it just make me feel hopeless in everything i do.. I knew i wasn't ready, yet i still venture out.. thinking i will be able to conquer it all.. but i was wrong.. BIG time. I know ZZ loves me.. Jie loves me.. why must i be in this situation? is this the so called "test" that everyone have to go thru? I dun understand myself either.. it is like me stick in between a sandwich and suffocate and cant breathe properly. Why can't i be decisive a little so as to end all this misery. However, i just cant seem to let go.. Arrrgh... it is so maddening.. I am so fed up with myself..