Just... only just.. i had an arguement with ZZ... Bascially i told him it wasn't his fault.. I was too sensitive.. i am also too insecure about myself.. maybe of my busy schedule.. i feel that i didn't have much time to spend with him.. i am crying like a tap... oh me.. i dunno what is happening to me, maybe i was just too emotional.. maybe i was too concern about what he say.. what i know is that i am totally sad and i just keep crying.. the thought of breaking up is again on my mind. is this my karma? is it that i shouldn't have relationship ever? To think about it.. i really think that maybe i am just too rash.. thinking about all those horrible things again. I dun ever think tomorrow i will be able to do a good show with swollen eyes. Am i so petty about what he had said,.. maybe i am... maybe even jealousy.. haha... where has the confident April gone to?? maybe she is too blind to see or even feel anymore.. she is trap into that darkness again.. I love him so much.. the thought of letting him go is too much for me... i dunno what can i do?? I am being so unreasonable i guess.. i dun think i can make a wise decision or even think properly.. oh gosh~ what is happening to me?? Just give me sometime... i will TRY to figure it out!