Wasn't easy for me to get out of bed today. Was in total agony for the fact that my eyes were swollen from yesterday excessive crying. Oh boy, I dun even dare to look into the mirror to see how bad i've tranform overnight. I'm glad to be wearing specs if not i will scared everyone at work. In fact, some of my observant colleague asked about my eyes. I just have to come up with some white lies to shoo them off from commenting.

It ain't easy working while my heart and soul ain't at work. I was so restless and moody. All i could think about is that matter. What she had said to me. How much I miss her. HOw much i wish nothing had happen.. but i know it can never be the same anymore. Though, officially nothing have start..but things were already more than friends. The bond was there.. or maybe it was all one sided again. I dunno. I lament at myself. I felt so foolish to trust love when love failed me time and time again. Yes, I was over with my past relationship with Z but this... IS yet another blow which i told myself if it does happen.. i will not trust anyone who claim to love me anymore. The reality is hard to accept and so was the pain.. it pierce right into my heart.

Whether can i put this aside and face the world with a smiley face... yes i know i will be able to acheive that.. but inside me the wound will nv heal.. jsut like a RD. It's pointless to heal anyway. Becos i have no faith in love... I can't trust love no more.

Tears will be my companion for now... how i wish i could block my tears from flowing.. Change me to be less emotional. I need a hug badly... a shoulder to rely on.. I'm so tired.. So tired to be going thru all this Sh** myself...