Finally my com is back to normal.. or should i say back to it's state whereby it's functioning.

Damn was i bored when i was all alone at home, doing practically nothing and my com was down. Even if i wanna bullshit at my blog also cannot.. sian ah..
So there was i, alone and desperate to recover. especially my voice. It's still hoarse btw.. sexy eh? Well, so i had so much time in the world at that moment that i finally sat down on my bed and think about what had happened, reflecting on my life. Gosh... I am so profound at that moment.

Well, i thought alot about the things i wanna do, the dreams i have yet to achieve and basically daydreaming about all the sweet things in life. Haa.. It's weird not able to talk for days. It's even weirder when i start to become serious about my life. Where i wanna head to and stuff like that. PErhaps life ain't just a piece of cake and obviously, u really need lotsa effort and courage to realise whatever u want in life. I guess it's the struggle that toughen ur character. And likewise my relationship.

It's been proven that my BGR can never last. Like those in fairytales, I have always secretly wished that my relationship will be happily ever after. But heck, it has never been. The last current one really shattered my wish. It's really fast and furious. We met, fall in love and boom, it blasted at the end. Haa.. funny eh?? It's not, it took me sometime before i become emotionally stable. I have always put up a strong front. A carefree girl without woes. But deep inside, i'm still human okie. my heart still aches when i'm hurted. If only my heart was made of stone. Perhaps it wouldn't be so painful. So i bear with all that no appetite and crying myself to sleep and stuff and fought thru all.... and here i am a whole new person. Bulls***!! I'm still the same. Same old April. Haiz, i shouldn't be in love at all. It's not worth my effort. I'm really tired with this "heart throbbing", "butterflies in stomach" and blushin' business.

So at the end of it, I miss him like crazy... No doubt i'm still the same April-emotional fool.

I have STM... but why can't i erase the feeling of missing someone? If only i have the recipe to that.