Sobbing in an uncontrollable state.. Most may thought i am just being emotionally unstable again.. which is partly true.. But mostly.. I am hurted.. Really hurt deep down in my heart. No one can really understand that sort of hurt that pierce thru my heart from within.. Tears kept on flowing.. It soak up my tee and towel.. My pillow and my lil ones.. It's goanna be a tough ride tonight.. Past memories kept welling up.. It overwhelmed me. I feel so vulnerable like a lil girl lost her way.. her parents.. no one to guide you.. I wanna lay on bed.. thinking what went wrong and why things become so shitty.. But like many said, it's no point doing that. On one will come to comfort you or even care.. Or the one you want to cuddle with will not come to you.. Now, i just want to get him off my mind..

It's tough to being commited.. even tougher to leave the one you loved. I guess it's never easy. Nothing is easy in this world. It's a cruel world.. yet there is always things to look forward to.. Like gd friends and my family. Knowing that they care is a blessing. I felt Blessed. I felt moment of happiness spread within me. I know it's never the end of the world.. like war of the worlds..(even though i din catch the movie)

It's so hard for me to pick up the courage to love someone then let go so easily. Maybe that's why it's better to stay single and never get hurt? It's not the first, twice.. it's numerous. I wonder is this the last? The last one ended heartwreching. This one ended with disappointment without a reason. It's all one-sided all along? I dunno but it sure hurts... Cos my vision blurs as i typed. Being so emotional and sentimental.. stubborn and unreasonable makes me weak. I am weak.. weak to do anything.. I WANT to be strong.. I ACTED strong.. But i am NOT strong.. I tried but i failed badly. It's just a vicious cycle all over again. Why did I still continue? Why am i So blind to see? That eventually it end up the same? Maybe it's just me? Think Again... Did i get the signs all wrong? Was there suppose to be sth hidden in the smses? That i din manage to uncode?

The scar on my hand seems undoubtly a ominous sign.. A scar that remains after the hurt.. same as the emotion state i am in.. Well, Just have to bear with it.. It will be over soon.