Today is the first day of the dance musical production- "A journey through time". The response was great even though the auditorium wasn't full but i felt nervous when it was time to go on stage.. haha... everyone really put in their effort and i can see that everyone totally enjoyed being in this. I was one of the actors.. haha.. my mum came and watch the show.. she also agree that my costume looks horrible. I totally agreed with her. Oh, also Gillian and the directors actually gave everyone a small gift to reward us.. so sweet of them.. Aww~ Well, i guess it was a great performance... it was a success!! All the best!! one more show to go~

Just... only just.. i had an arguement with ZZ... Bascially i told him it wasn't his fault.. I was too sensitive.. i am also too insecure about myself.. maybe of my busy schedule.. i feel that i didn't have much time to spend with him.. i am crying like a tap... oh me.. i dunno what is happening to me, maybe i was just too emotional.. maybe i was too concern about what he say.. what i know is that i am totally sad and i just keep crying.. the thought of breaking up is again on my mind. is this my karma? is it that i shouldn't have relationship ever? To think about it.. i really think that maybe i am just too rash.. thinking about all those horrible things again. I dun ever think tomorrow i will be able to do a good show with swollen eyes. Am i so petty about what he had said,.. maybe i am... maybe even jealousy.. haha... where has the confident April gone to?? maybe she is too blind to see or even feel anymore.. she is trap into that darkness again.. I love him so much.. the thought of letting him go is too much for me... i dunno what can i do?? I am being so unreasonable i guess.. i dun think i can make a wise decision or even think properly.. oh gosh~ what is happening to me?? Just give me sometime... i will TRY to figure it out!

woah!! Now i am at my school com lab... haha~ why?? Because our group had to do survey for all yr3 students. So, here i am at the level 3 com lab writing my blog for i have nothing better to do.. Gina is sitting beside me, surfing the net.. while reading her sms. Dunno why but some how i find her a little upset today.. maybe the words i had said? i really dunno.. but i hope this wouldn't last long. If Gina u are reading this... SORRY!! i dunno what have i done wrong.. just forgive and forget okie?? Friends forever~

My last weekend was a great one. i had to attend a camp at ITE Bishan. It was really enjoyable. Even though i was down with fever and sore throat. My camp mates are really caring.. even though we dun know each other, they came up to me to ask me how am i .. i was very touched. Ok.. ok.. let me start from the beginning....

6PM- I arrived at ITE Bishan and it was raining heavily. There were not many that arrived. I went up to a familiar face-Azmy .. We chit chat and find out each other actually did our attachment at AH.. haha... It was aroung 7pm when almost all campmates arrived. We had a flag raising ceremony and Gan- our expedition leader was there to explain why we had that. Then we lingered around to know the rest of the people. I found them very warm and friendly.. immediately a few of us click together. We had to cook our own dinner.. here's the receipt-
Fair price noodles (curry, chicken and seafood) all mix together
Cans of sardines
Cans of baked beans

It was so funny... we even have to ration our water supply to make it more realistic that we are india. haha.. I totally left out the utensila and cup and plate.. So lucky me, there is this girl called jeanniea that acually brought disposable plates and utensils. I manage to clear a sardine can touse as cup.. (hehe.. clever me~) we then had our food and settle down to our next activity. Which is drawing.. haha going back to our kindergarden days.. we had drawing block and caryons.. the theme- what make us join nursing.. haha.. what a joke.. i never thought of being a nurse. i was in a dilemma. dunno what to do.. so i just scribble and doddle the whole paper with colours. We then had to present our drawing to the rest.. and explain our drawing.. it was nice to know that there are so many people who love nursing.. and they are realising our dreams... (when is mine??) anyway, we didn't finish the sharing session.. cos everyone was getting bored . so we had Games. I wasn't involved, but we tried to help those in the game to solve. We give command and finally after many tries, they manage to complete the game. we also had night duty.. and i was the first to do.. lucky me.. cos i was put at the 2-3am slot and i guess someone nice change with me.. So me and matdu did the duty while chatting .. getting to know each other... soon.. i was in bed.. ZZzzZzzzz

The next morning 5am.. I was waken from my sweet dreams .. We get to do some games and jog in the morning before breakfast.. Breakfast was bread with sardine/jam and Milo.. plus butter crackers too.. Not too bad.. anyway, i dun really take breakfast. After that we took a MRT to city Hall.. from there we need to travel by foot to ECP-east coast park~ OMG!! I was thinking are u serious.. but of cos i did the walk la.. hehe.. So we walk n walk n walk.. we sang songs and make fun at people.. it was really fun.. and we had our first activity at kallang there. It was our first obstacle. We need to climb over a wall.. either by the steps or the artificial rock wall.. after much consideration.. we decided that it is better to be save then to take the risk and get hurt.. so we took the steps. actually it wasn't easy to. Many was afraid of heighs .. so it was still a challenge to many. The whole lot manage to climb over.. and we start to head for our final destination. We walk for a few more hours, and we reached old airport road - dakota crescent to have our lunch and to continue the sharing session with our drawing. We had justea and nasi lemak for lunch it was really tasty.. especially the chilli.. and the pandan green rice. After that we played a game call the 'sumo game'. I pick Azizah to be my partner. haha... It was so exciting. she won ..Sobs :P Next we continue our journey.. when nearly reaching ECP. We played another game called find the tree.. we need to blindfold to find the tree as a group. Wanni volunteered to be the leader. We tried a few times b34 deciding which route to take.. finally, Wanni took myy and azizah's suggestion and we make did! We found the tree.. Hurray!! We walk n walk n walk after that to reach ECP to search for the red house. We manage to get there by 4plus 5.. Then we head down to bedok MRT to go back to bishan.. We took our bath and hurried to eat our dinner. Same reciept like the day b4.. except with additional of campbell soup and mushrooms..

Well well.. here am i writing my blog again.. after so much time waste due to the dance musical and my illness.. Okie let's not waste time. Basically.. after the dinner , we start to find songs to present for the elderly at Dover Park Hospice. We took quite a long time to decide three songs- You are my sunshine, Barney song and Never had a dream come true. We then rehearse and had a little feedback session.. Everyone was pouring out their woes and sharing their concern to the rest of us.. which i think is very truthful and direct. even though it was only two days i feel that everyone already treat each other as friends. So, the feedback session was an eye opener to me.. that everyone is so concern about each other. After much it was already going to 12am. It was time to ZzzzZzz...

The next morning , we woke up at 5am and start our morning exercise. After that we had our breakfast and bath. Around 8.45am, we set out to take MRT to Novena. It was quite a walk to Dover PArk Hospice. The place there was beautiful and realxing.. gave me a nice and comfortable feeling. We were then brief on the rules of the place.. and brought up to the patient to sing for them.. In fact, i was very touched and actually tears welled-up in my eyes which i try very hard not to let it flow.. It was that moment that i feel that these people really need the company and care... After that, we went back to ITE bishan.. clear our rooms and toilets. We had our lunch and then it was nearly time to go home. But.. we need a debrief.. so we settle down and talk about the whole camp and also the next coming event. Basically, clearing all our doubts about the trip like the money, lagagge, food etc. Around 3pm , it was time to say good bye.. the organiser actually prepare gifts for us, which is a photo frame and a stalk of rose... i love it.. now the photo is sitting in front of my com.. reminding me the nice people there... really looking forward to the trip... ;)

I felt shitty today~

Wasn't in a good mood.. went to watson to buy toiletries... haha.. also dunno why.. anyway, after reaching home and bath , i settle down in front of my com to do my work.. work piling up.. haven't done.. so while chatting on msn and doing my work.. ZZ suddenly called me. He told me he missed me.. haha.. then i was kinda moody and actually became angry with him over somethings.. but he was patient with me and even try to console me.. So sweet of him.. even though i was angry, i was thinking why is he so cute.. haha.. i think i mad mad le.. it makes me realized that after all that horrible period, i treasure him even more. okie i know this may sound mushy but i really think he is really sweet even though he is not romantic.. he is understanding even though he is not really sensitive... he is cute even though he dun look cute.. Whahaha :) He actually wanted to bath so we put down the phone. Then after 5mins, he called me backed again.. i was surprised.. he said he just wanted to say "i love you" ... then he put down the phone...i was really touched~ To ZZ, (shouting loudly) ..."I LOVE YOU TOO!!"

CAUTION: Okie this is not for you to read (unless u are ZZ).. so if u have read it.. u are just hallucinating~ wahahaha...

Well, to update.. yesterday, went to my soka meeting in the morning.. meet up with my soka mates then did a little discussion on the "joy in friendship".. Was enjoying and i did make new friends.. so happy~

after that i went to meet wenjie. i reached city hall around 1.18pm. Saw him sitting at the stairs leading to raffles city. He was in black tee and levi's jeans.. First thing he told me was i looked different.. He still look the same to me. even though it has been a long time i last met up with him.. Maybe just that he slim down ... more suave. haha~ Anyway, we went to suntec, KFC for lunch and chatted.. We talk for awhile before heading to walk walk.. It was a nice feeling able to meet up with him after a long time. Glad to see that he is fine and doing well. We talk about the past, present and our future. I was overwhelmed with emotions and cried. it was not for him, just the past memories welled up in me.

Around 5pm, we went back to city hall to meet Gina. Joanna was late again. We walked to esplanade and we were shocked to see so many people even though it was only 5 plus.. Everyone was so kiasu. i even saw people actually set up a tent to watch the fireworks. We then tried our luck at the sheares bridge to look for a good spot.. We squeeze thru hundred of people and then.. there was this empty space.. we quickly sat down to 'chop' the spot.. it was only 6pm then! haha... we also very kiasu.. We saw many people passing by as the times go by.. it was almost 6.30pm yet there was still no sign of joanna. We curse and swear to kill time.. haha.. it was fun.. then we make fun of her and marco.. giving nicks to marco.. it was really fun.. haha... Then the sky turn dark as it was already 7pm. we took photos and joanna STILL haven't reached.. in fact, we felt hopeless already.. It was really crowded as the fire works start soon.. By 8pm, the firework start.. it was really nice.. Guess what? We got the best spot.. The firework was just exploding in front of us.. the view was excellent! Words can't really describe my feelings.. it was overwhelming.. the whole show was only 8mins... But all that waiting was worth it.. i nearly cried because i have never seen such beautiful scene of fireworks. I was touched...

After that, the smoke was choking.. Joanna still haven't arrived. She was stuck with marco at the embargo.. We set down to find them.. After that, we went to eat at lau pak sat.. Wenjie upon arriving at lau pak sat, said he was tired and decided to make a move first. So left gina, joanna, marco and me. We ordered BBQ sting ray, satay, fry oyster and drank teh tarat and bandung.. it was really fun. then Gina told us that Nick and friends are joining us.. I saw Nories too... He was sitting at the table opposite from mine. The girls go gaga over him. haha~ then, after much long awaiting, nick and friends arrived.. not only that, his gf was there too.. they settle down on a table not too far from us. We keep making fun of nick and his gf.. details not allowed to disclose.. only between our gang.. hehe~ confidential. We went back around 10.50pm.. was very tired and shag.. but it was really enjoyable.. hopefully we will have another outing soon~

Gosh.. it is another busy week, i have already lost track of time. somehow, i am kinda just living my life as days go by. i don't even know if i am doing any thing great or right. i just continue this busy schedule without even having the time to do some reflecting. i think i really need a break - maybe 1hour or so to really think what have i acheived, what have i been doing and even am i on the right track. have i hurt anybody's feeling... haiz, just hope that everything will be fine.

today, going to meet wenjie. i am kinda nervous.. feeling so tense all of the sudden. just as if i was meeting him for the first time. i really look forward to meet him so to catch up. it has been a long time. Will update on this again.

Yesterday, went out with grace. We wanted to try this very nice indian rojak but then the shop was closed! Argh! so we settled for yoshinoya. hehe.. went to buy the july issue of the STyle.. cos of the free glassy. i have been looking for it for quite a long time. at last i found it. Aftewr that, GRace went for the production: the tim sum dollies.. sob sob.. i didnt't know she is watching it.. if not we probably will watch together.. Well, nonetheless, i went from bugis to orchard to meet my dear. Zz ans chee ming was sitting outside cineleisure waiting for me. After that, we went to play pool.. not with me la.. i dunno how to play. it has been so long ever since i went into a pool area. It was crowded.. no table. So we went to play arcade. We race each other on daytona.. haha.. so fun~ chee ming: first, i was placed second and ZZ was third.. hehe... then, we went over to pool again.. this time there was table so we took it. but it was 7feet. or sth la.. very small table.. looking at two huge guy playing at a small table was very entertaining. haha.. then there was a 9feet table so went over there.. at least they played better there. Lokking at Zz playing was so charming.. especially when he aim and the ball went in. Woah.. was like pro.. haha... okie maybe i was just too love sick. but overall, cheeming still won. HE play really well, he is very nice.. talk to me and joke around.. a very friendly guy.. Then Zz send me home after the game. We joked and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Knowing that each other miss the other was really nice. It shows how much we feel for each other amist our bz schedule. When we reached our void deck, we saw a old indian lady.. she was carrying many red big plastic bags full of stuff. I They seems really very heavy.. Because i can see that she really uses all her strength to move the bag from one area to the other.. we went pass her, but then ZZ ask me whether he should help. i told him we can if the lady allowed. So we went to her and ZZ immediately carried 4 big red bags for her. I The old lady was very touched and grateful. She keep thanking us to offer our help. But in my heart, i know why i choose this guy.. He really care for others even if he doesn't know the person, he is willing to offer his help. Even though he is not romatic, but his caring and concern for others touches me and takes my heart away. (Awww... so sweet~)