Okie, it's the lasy day of my leave and how much can i say .. I DON"T WISH TO GO BACK TO WORK! Haiz, what to do.. I have to work for a earning.

At least i'm going to get my pay soon.. and thats a motivation. ha. I can't survived in this la. With 10 bucks in my wallet and thats all for e week. How pathetic can i get. another 8 days and i will be fine again.

Must start saving up. Can't stand being so pathetic. It's like living on people. the feeling is crappy la. I MUST and WILL save.

Sway with me. will you?

its gettin late.. my mood is bad. everything seems to e on the worst i can imagine. I'm so exhausted. I need some time to just chill and watch my dvds borrowed from jasmine. I wan to cuddle by myself alone in my pathetic sofa.. and still feel happy and relax. Why is it that i need u?? I dun.. and i will make it thru. It's not easy but who cares.. I know i can.. though the fact is no one understands my current feelings.

Perhaps i think too much. Perhaps I'm not being appreciate? taken granted for? Or perhaps im the one who has been taking granted of so many things and not appreciating to the many things. I'm so tired thinkin. My mind is blowing up soon. Its suppose to be my leave and i'm stuck here in such stupid state. Im suppose to be happy enjoying my last few days of my leave. But now, im crying in front of my com.. tyring to vent my anger and frustration. AARGhhh... Fuck.

Fuck my brain.
Fuck my emotions.

HAng on... i still need u after all.

Finally back to blogging after a week's break. Well, i'm going for my 4 days leave soon. startin tmr afternoon. Can't wait to party and do some catchin up with my friends. I need to relax man... Have been falling sick so often that I actually lost weight. In fact, i realised that i did look sorta weak. So guess i need to put some adrenaline pumbing in my body.

Good news!! I'm taking off my lower braces this dec.. I can't wait. I have been waiting for this day for so long.. Though the upper braces may only be taken off in JAn07.

Well.. X'mas is coming.. Thinking of what to get for me? To save all the trouble...
So here's my wishlist:
1. Perfume- anything that smells nice
2. TMX elmo- available at toys 'r' us soon
3. 1 year subsciption of cleo mag
4. LAptop
5. Digi cam
6. Lomography cam
7. A good book
8. Xmas cards- how can there be no cards??
9. A good looking man
10. Nice shoes- i'm a shoe addict

Whahaha... how's the list>? No complains okie.. There will be revised version soon.. as soon as i think of some other things i need. =P

Yippi.. party tmr! Boggie all nite long.

NOw that i'm getting into this state where no one can understand. It's such an ambiguous state that makes me ever more confusing and troubled. I can't really relate to anyone due to the fact that I was the one who make the wrong moves.

I dun wish to cry myself to sleep everyday. I just want a simple life. Is it that difficult? Is it that difficult to find that someone whom i can really rely on. To pamper and love me? Perhaps with an unsettled heart and unwillingness to commit draws me to such a bad state. That's why i know im still not ready to go into relationship.

Save me from all these.. will you?

Making things clear ain't that difficult afterall. If i knew it was that easy i would have done it earlier. He was so understanding, there was no awkwardness at all. He take it easy. Or perhaps he sense it coming? Oh well, i am glad we have made things clear this time round and still am good friends whom can go out and be crazy with.. at least he is not like him.. he doesn't break my heart and promises..

I really like ur company.. I hope we will always stay like this... =)
I will lie beside you and forget the world together.