Are 'u able to lend me ur shoulder?  

What a day.. woke up at 12noon.. feeling totally lethargic and moody yet again...

What can i say? study, study and study..why? two more papers to go..

Soon i will be free... i want to be free...

Hate quarrels and arguements!! Sorry seems to be the hardest word..

Cambodia trip nearing... many things to plan.

Late nights and pimples accompanied me yet again.. no one understands... not even him!

Someone please lend me a shoulder to cry on.. i need it badly.. very emotional at the moment.

Take me away!

Frustrated and Fearful~

I am very f... what can i say.. i feel that i can't really concentrate on my revision and i am pissed!! very pissed!! On the other hand i am very f... too... I cannot imagine myself failing my exams.. i have to go to my expedition to cambodia.. and i have to make sure that i don't fail! Argh!! F & F!!! Someone please save me~

"Try is a little word but big things- victory and glory can be found within it. The sight of someone trying, no matter what ostacle he faces, no matter what circumstances are, is the sight of victory itself."

It was a terrible day.. i woke up late for school and receive horrible sms in the morning... What a peasant way to start the day. Haizz... Decided to do what is the best... Well... went to somerset to eat lunch with Gina.. It was raining.. we ate yoshinoya at cineleisure and watch the rain pour.. yumMy~ then we headed back school for lecture.

When we are proceeding to the lecture.. rahiddeer came in hurriedly with a fat girl shouting vagarity and keep pointing at rahiddeer... Well, was kinda worried for him? what has he done this time.. Ask him what he done.. he just keep quiet. The girl kept screaming "bo chi.." and sth that i dun understand.. Well, everyone in lecture was shocked and My syed brought the two outside to talk.. Well, some busybody just went out to watch the "show" Me and gina was thinking why this girl match in and show no respect for the lecturer.. shouting loudly to present herself like a gangster and it really make me think she is like secondary kid.. why can't she just settle things calmly? Hmm, maybe she thinks that she is so damn good by shouting vaguarity, but in fact she just disgraced herself.. found out that it was actually a small matter from rahiddeer but he was the also in the wrong by whacking her.. haizz.. hope they will not get into trouble with the nursing manager...

Two hours of break that allows me to rot once again in the com lab.. what a day... haizz.. hopefully i will get in mood to study real soon.. can't continue to slack anymore!!

One of the recent photos taken at "pretty in tokyo". Gina and me~ Friends forever!! 

Well.. didn't really want to write what happened today.. because i think my "dear" had clearly elaborated what had happen today.. please referred to her blog @ www.pink_becks.blogspot.com ..

Today's entry will be delicated to my "dear"- GInA..
Everyone who have seen us would told us that we look alike and probably sisters. Well, we didn't agree with anyone.. but i do feel that we can relate anything under the sun like sisters.. maybe sisters can't even do that.. Come to think of it , 3years of NYP had actually given me a lot of experiences and changes in my life.. Not only i joined stageARTS that rock my world.. i met lotsa people and befriended many strangers...Met lotsa "missy"..My current charming bf .. and also my best pal, Gina. I remembered vividly.. (haha.. a verse Roslind ALWAYS use!!) that Gina was the first friend i made.. along came Reena and Joanna.. Gina and i hit off instancely. We crapped, joked, laughed, fighted and love each other. we are the "inseparable ones", many would say.. but who cares.. We had our own lives, our own friends and own style.. We are not some "clones" in SHS. However, we love each others' company. We do have our ups and downs.. who don't? Sometimes, i would keep irritating her with my wild actions and thoughts.. or 'suan' her and beat her.. (I bet she knows it really well.. ) Then she would give me a look that says 'Go away, u moron!!' or she just ignored my stupidity and say she no longer wants me as her friend... but we are ALWAYS end up with good endings. I appreciate how much she stands by me and supported me thru my toughest period.. or the way she laughed at my silliness and jokes. Whenever she is feeling down and upset, i would want to be the first to render my care for her..to cheer her up.. 3 years of friendship had given us the chemistry to work together as a team.. She usually is the one who will produce lotsa research from net and I will just be creatively coming up with ideas for the presentation.. haha.. Sometimes, we just coincidentally dressed the same in colours or the style of wearing.. but i sweared and Gina can witness.. we never ever planned what to wear the next day. It is just purely coincidental. Now at this point of time, i just wanna say a BIG thank you to my best pal, Gina! We will be best friend forever.. i hope u will find ur happiness soon.. and realize your dream to be a Singapore girl.. Kambatei! :)

hehe.. another bunny!! Cute sia~ (hehe wrote my name on the little card.. but i not a volunteer there.) both pix got today from the pet adoption drive! 

Postcard bought by ZZ!! Bunnies name are Powder and Puppy~ 

Today woke up late.. was intending to sleep till 11am or so.. but i was woken up by the phone.. it was ZZ on the line.. he told me that his family decided to go to bishan park for the pet adoption drive organise by the animal lovers, association and SPCA. It was really crowded there.. so many people bring their own dogs there.. it was like a dog exhibition. So kawaii!! However, kinda disappointed that the booth there only brought in a few dogs and cats.. and the park was big but the booth was pathetically small.. the only thing that makes this drive like so successful were the people and their beloved doggies. I enjoyed watching them.. well, less than 30mins.. and we settle off to rachel's hometown for lunch.. (rachel is ZZ's bro gf) The weather was terrible.. rain and rain.. it was only after 45mins later then we set off back to ZZ's house. On the way back, i was so tired i just slept on ZZ's chest, then thigh, then back to chest again.. haha...it was amusing...

Really need to start on my revision le.. okie.. kambatei~ q(^-^)p

Today went out to study with my "dear" , as usual i am late.. wahaha.. so she was like waiting for me at the usual place.. looking so bored!! Anyway, we went to orchard library to borrow some books .. then at the same time, do our revision. Unfortunately , we can't find a single seat.. but we managed to find this little corner for readers to read their books and settle there. We put on the headphone and listen to funny music by beach boys and bonds.. ahaha.. no la.. we got to listen to maroon 5 , JET and N'SYNC. Woah!! didn't know library is so fun. will be visiting there soon. After a few hours later, we went to have lunch at LJ.. then decided to walk walk la.. heehee... we set off to heeren then slowly proceed to far east.. as everyone who knows me well, i can never go orchard without spending some money.. so there i go.. splashing out cash for acessories.. tried on two skirt which i like a lot.. too bad must budge.. because i like both!! Argh!!! "Dear" can't decide for me, so i also confused.. dunno which one to get.. in the end .. i both also never buy!! BOOO... sobs sobs (~.~) Anyway, i will get them both.. real soon!! save up !! (jia you! jia you!) Didn't get to contact ZZ the whole day.. feel so awkward!! i miss him!!! MUACKS! (lovesick...can't help it) heehee

Exam guidance for 17/10: Life is a process of ongoing challenge. Those who lead lives of boundless challenge realize boundless growth. In a time of tumultuous change, what people need most is vitality to challenge their circumtances and the wisdom to open the treasure house of knowledge, to ceaselessly strive to create new value.

AhhhH... finally change a new blogskin... this can really get u hooked on to keep changing the blog skin as there will always be nicer and cuter blogskin.. but anyway.. i think this one is cute.. modify it here and there.. add in song and even snow flakes.. hehe.. trying to make it so cute as possible.. kawaii.. thats what gina say.. Well, finally everything is over.. phew.. no more presentation, assignment and test!! yeah!! hurray!! wahahaha... but.. EXAM is around the corner.. in fact it is in 2 weeks time !! wah.. sian ( -_-") haiz.. life in year 3 really sucks.. heehehe but i will miss school.. gina and me starts to wonder what we will become, what to dress for graduation, what career we embark on etc. wah.. come to think of it, it is really scary!! hahaha... okok dun think so far yet, tomolo , moi and gina going to orchard library to 'chong'.. aiyah!! chong to study lor.. hehe.. then maybe can borrow some novel back home to read and relax.. then after that can go walk walk.. booo!! no $$ though.. (-_-'') but can window shop mah!! hehehe... so happy!! whaha..

Exam guidance 16/10: As long as you wholeheartedly continue to take action towards your goal, even though you may not immediately produce clear results, you will definitely see the fruits of your efforts in the long run. This must be the fundamental principle of life. Therefore, the important thing is for you to continue to run and struggle towards your ultimate goal until last moment of your life, without being swayed away by temporary results along the way.

Well.. today sucks.. mainly because i felt so tired and sick of waking up early to go school.. Finally i had finish my 1500 assigment.. Phew~ Now, the only thing is tomorrow's presentation and exams.. argh!! (the thought of it .. makes me shiver~) As usual.. we had to rot in school for a few hours due to our breaks. Nonetheless.. we did go com lab and 'lan' there.. haha.. Gina still having insomia.. hopefully she can really relax.. and SLEEP!! poor girl. She seems so helpless..

After school, i went back home to rest and bath.. then realise that i did not have any white paper.. so i went to TBP to get the paper... Hehe.. guess what i bought in this trip.. A bikini set.. wahahaha... i think i totally went crazy.. it was an implusive behavior.. nonetheless, it is cheap and nice.. it is my fav color .. PInk! Got myself a cute little folder to put in my assignment. hehe ( *_^)

well, i did a good deed today.. i remember how frantic i was when i lost my hp.. so when i picked up the hp left at Popular.. the first thing i did was to call her family and inform about the lost hp.. heehee... Well, the thought of keeping the hp for myself did occur to me , but i know how troublesome it will be without a hp.. Moreover, i remembered me cursing and swearing the person who stole my hp.. So frustrated i was.. i vowed to myself that i will not do such a thing.. so the secondary school girl collect the hp back.. i can see she is so grateful and happy.. I am so proud of myself.. (",) Yippie~

One last episode of what happened today, well.. this morning i found out that MAc is having this kitty soft toy thingy again... i spotted the one i like and intend to get it in the afternnon.. however, in the afternoon.. it was OUT OF STOCK!! Argh!! there goes my kitty.. (meow meow= byebye) haizz.. So i relate this incident to Zz and told him to get for me if possible.. I was overjoyed when he told me that he is going down to MAC to get it for me.. awwW.. So sweet of him.. (^-^) He got me the light pink kitty cat.. laLaLa..lala.. (happily singing song).. Gonna give him a BIG HUG tomorrow.. or in just 6 hours time.. yeah~

Exam guidance for the day: Daily life and life itself are battles. Do you win or lose? The outcome is not always determined by how much experience ability you have. What is most important is your decision to win. Then pray sincerely with all your might, bringing forth great wisdom while making effort to accomplish your goal.

Well.. just to let those who think that they are really smart because they ever get into JC and didnt even passed their A levels.. F*** off.. Please!! Only those who dropped out of JC went to poly.. met ridiculous accident that is probably due to recklessness .. doing nonsensical stuff.. feeling bored ALWAYS are the losers and need some help from the professional. THEY ARE THE LONELY ONES.. always out there to seek attention and think that they are smart and witty..

So what if we led simple life and we are happy in our own world? We don't led miserable life with evil heart... unlike someone. If people think that being highly
intellectual means a better thinker , much wittier, converse better.. U are damn wrong... U dunno what is enjoying simplicity in life.. what is peace, as ALL u know is to show ur pathetic behaviour and insult thru your blog! Please cut your crap!

Guess people can't change just as the leopard can't change its spots.. All they can ever do is going thru the whole same cycle again and again.. the routine cycle of loneliness.. because there can never be enough for them.. What i am implying is SCRAM!! Dun disturb the peace ANYMORE!!

Zz and me... awww.. so sweet! 

Cute little penguin.. one of my fav~ 

ZZ's fav.. the white tiger! 

Outing to the Singapore Zoo

I met Zz at CCK around 1045am to go to the Zoo by bus.. it was a fine weather. We had a little arguement before the trip even began. But each other give in and things are soon back to normal.. :) We reached the Zoo aroung 1130am. things had changed quite a bit. they renovated the ticketing counter and the entrance... looks better and spacous compare to last time. We decided to walked the zoo instead of taking the tram. So we started our journey watching Tapirs, pygmy hippos and White tigers... On the way.. we ate cheese fries and wedges bought from KFC.. haha.. We walk and walk and walk .. till around 130pm, we headed down to the amphitheatre to catch the animal show.. it was really interesting. we had lotsa fun there.. especially when one of the monkeys came down from the ropes near me.. i nearly freak out.. haha.. so silly of me! Anyway, we drank sprite ice to quence our thirst.. aHhahh~ cooling! We visited the elephants of Asia, primate kingdom, fragile forest etc.. basically we walked the whole Zoo without missing out any animals.. however they didnt have the giraffe.. hmm.. but it was great exprience because Zz knows the place very well.. i was impressed by his knowledge on the different species of animals and his alert observation on the animals.. i cant even see a single thing and there he spotted 3 to 4 of them.. woah.. Then we went to my fav.. POLAR BEARS!! hehe.. so cuteee... but too bad cant get a pix on him.. he was too swifted and playful to stay still.. hehe.. :) overall, i had a fun day.. enjoyed every min of it..

Today... i break down in front of Gina. I dunno why.. but somehow. i related my feelings to her.. not all but some. It was unsual quiet for the two of us.. cos usually i am the one crapping away and telling lame jokes.. Today we just sit down.. noone talks to each other... just silent. I am terrible upset.. when i poured out my feelings to her.. i was so helpless.. she seems helpless too.. it is like she dunno what to say and do.. i don't blame her.. she has been very patient with me.. she just gave me her listening ear.. i love her man..

It was terrible to end so late for drama rehearsal everyday.. it is wearing me out.. i really look forward to pass down my position to my next batch my darlings.. i know they wouldn't let me down.. I need a break badly.. even though i passed my clinical test.. still have my 1500words assignment to rush... exams are coming and i havent even check my schedule.. Argh!! it's pissing me off.. it's like i never have any time for myself anymore. I just wan to go to beach.. sit there.. enjoy the breeze... doing nothing at all... just laze there.. thats all i need to get all energise and back on track.. maybe even a walk at my nearby park would be greaT too.. haizz...

For everyone who cares for me.. during my ups and downs... 

Take my troubles away... headache 

Anger and Upset

It is all my fault.. i brought this all upon myself.. why April? why are u so foolish? Why are things going all hay wire for me? I dun understand... maybe i do.. but i refused to admit. i refuse to give in.. i refuse to accept the truth.. I know there are many who cares, i truely appreciate it.. but this i have to solve myself.. i have to make the first step.. i know i can do it.. but at the moment.. i feel myself feeling weak and restless. Feeling all drained up and suffocated with many stress and problems. I want to put everything aside, concentrate on my drama and also my studies.. I want to let my head rest.. it has been giving me headaches.. the accumulated stress and problems have been piling and pushing me to my limits. I know this sound like very emotional and crap.. but thats how i am feeling now... emotional.. will anybody understand this feeling?
I know this can be even more harsh than what it is now, however i am so fragile to anymore harm.. i can no longer be that almighty April that can withstand all obstacles and problem.. if u see me all quiet unlike the April who go yanking and crazy.. dun worry, u just need to stay beside me.. no need to communicate.. silence now is all i need. I dun wish to share, so dun bother asking me... i dun wish to "NOT think about it".. cos i know i WILL. I dun even want to care about how u feel, so dun bother telling me your problems.. It sound ridiculous, but this maybe the best option for me. Sorry.. really sorry.

The last time i went out with wenjie and my buddies~ 

It was amusing to go to a guy house esp.. it's ben house.. well of cos, i went there with Gina and not ALONE! When i stepped into his house..it give me this feeling of neatness and cozy feeling.. and indeed it was tidy.. unlike mine. Shoes are neatly placed on the pink rag, floors are squirkly clean.. and the kitchen is spacious.. Woah.. his guinea pig is so fat.. and lazy. whaha... kinda like BEn... (Anyway, he looks like a red lobster.. with that stupid sunburn!) Well.. amuzing that his room is kept neat and tidy too ( with pink bedsheet and pink pillow case! whahaaha .. so girlie~) .. unexpectedly.. Hmm.. didn't do much, just did my research for project using his com.. and then he showed us some movies.. that bored us to death.. ahha.. no la.. just that it was stupid.. we are bored.. really bored.. then found out that he used to be class chairman in sec school... that's so funny.. cos to me , he looks like one big ah beng.. also so coincidentally.. while looking thru his BMT pix, i saw wenjie.. my heart nearly stopped. it was really so shocking to me. It brought back many many memories... and somehow now.. i kinda miss him. I really want to know how he has been all this while.. how's his work.. many many other things.. i really wanna catch up with him.. after the fireworks.. i didn't get to see him anymore.. hopefully things are getting better for him. Day ended with me and gina going home and now i better go back to study.. clinical test tomorrow.

Messy table!! still has been the same.. maybe even more messy.. this is taken months ago.. haha

Things yet to be completed:

1. Clinical test on tuesday (aWwRgh!!)
2. Presentation on acute poisoning- on friday (8oct)
3. Assignment on nursing project of 1500words- by week 15
4. Retake of theory test (hopefully not!) on wednesday
5. Design my shoe- still thinking of what to do ~
6. Memorise my lines for drama...
7. To pack my room and table (Argh! has been complained by mum and friends for being so messy~) hehe

Cool girl... thats me!