Yuppie!! Can't wait for the 2 holis that is coming on the way. So happy to have a break from work. Two days somemore. Gotten my first pay cheque from new job..but it was pathetic. Well, what can i say, it was pro rated. Damn. Have to wait till wed then can have money. Argh. Getting really impatient in this 'no money' life style. I need money.

Am thinking when can i finally realise what i want to do in life. How long more do i have to wait. 1 year? or maybe 2? I hope i can really get what i want for my 21st brithday. I will be really happy.. Only YOU know what i want... What do you think? Do u believe I could make it all happen before I turn 22 years?

Find myself getting really bad skin problem lately. Damn. How?? What to do man? Any good solution? I think its more sleep and water ba.. Will facial helps?? I wonder.. I think i need help..

Working in this new environment for 3 weeks going 1month. Still learning and enjoying the process of learning. Was thinking when can i assist in the lasik surgery and not just keep cleaning instrument. But i am sure its just the beginning.. I have lotsa opprtunity. I find myself liking uniform actually. Especially OT uniform. Comfortable. I alwways in cold cold environment. I'm so skinny somemore.. everytime will shiver whenever i am doing circulating. Argh.. But this make me able to take cold weather better unlike last time, i will feel cold easily.. just like YOU! Hands always so cold.. ;p

Okie.. dunno what to say le. SO chaoz...

The weather is killing me. Just for the record. It has been raining these few days. Its so cold. Longed for that warm cuddle just like what the radio plays.. 'but yet no one is around and you are feeling really lonely..' Oh yes, i am lonely baby, horny too lol. Oh well, jokes aside.. The weather is turning chilling. I am so so tempted to buy myself a warm woollen sweater man. Which i did eyed on some other day at the departmental store. Haiz, too bad my $$ are used up. I'm dried up. Broke. Argh. This sucks BIG time.

Oh it seems my dearie is troubled. I hope you are doing fine okie. If there is anything i can do for you.. or even a listening ear is needed. I am always here ya. =)

I'm tired so easily nowadays. Dunno whats wrong with me? Am i sick or what. Poor me. I really wanna have a good night sleep but even though no matter how much i tired to rest, it just always seems so tired. Freakin' me out. Maybe i am sick. Lovesick. Lack of physical activity? Strenuous exercise? I think so. Lol. Okie, i am damn idiotic. Kiss my ass...

Have decided. Totally decided. Let the past go... It's over.

Decided from tml onwards that i will start afresh. Wake up to a fresh morning with something more rewarding than reminising the past.

It took more than courage but the determination to let go, but i believe it's the best way for me. I never ever had so much to think about in a relationship. HEart still bruised from the past. But it'll heal right away once after cm. Confirm plus chop that i will live even more happy and joyous than before.

He will always be that special someone in my heart no matter what.
Always will be. That's love. Loving doesn't mean being together. It's a affection. It's being happy. That's how i love him. Want him to be happy.. n that makes me happy.

I'm contented.
I'm complicated. I don't wish to change that. But, i decided to lead a simple life now.
Circumstance change personality yet it could also create character in a person at the same time.
I'm in control..

PS: Gina, no matter what.. u will always be my best sista ever. Dun ever doubt yourself. You are so important to me. I know you are someone whom i can rely and seek advise from whenever and whatever happen. Time flies yet it doesnt mean that our friendship is to drift apart. Strong bonding and true friends dun come by that easily. Treasure our friendship just as the way I treasure it. I love you.

It's time for bed, i am waiting for tml..

Have been thinking a lot lately..

New job, new environment, new colleagues.

Trying to adjust to everything.

All new changes and people ard me.

Dunno whether i know what is right and wrong anymore. Just doin what the moment feels right.

I guess life for me now is just work.

Not much of a choice.
I start to feel better.
I learn from mistake and try not to make the same mistake again.
Yet, i believe people make mistakes all the time. Realisation and falling back to the old self again.
I want to break through. I want to break free.
I dun wish much. I just wanna be happy. Yet, admist all that smiling i have on my face. Sadness welled up inside me. It just can't seem to stop bothering me. I know i am weak, at times. I ALSO WANNA BE STRONG. i WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE THAT I CAN DO IT TOO.

After thinking for so long, feeling uncertain and tormented. I guess I will never give up loving him. It's so strange. But it's true. It doesn't matter how he feels. But I believe i will feel better this way. No point forcing yourself to do something u can never acomplished right? So, I will let him fly like a kite, be carefree. This is the way i shall love him forever...

To zacarina: Better. i don't think so. but i am glad i know you cared. =)

To Nana: SOrry i spolit the outing. Pissed everyone out and make myself an idiot.

To zZ: (though probably he will never read my blog) Sorry that i didn't respect you, make u pissed with me.

To my dearest: Sorry i couldnt give you any answers.

I will probably MIA for these while. Till I'm better.

Will miss blogging. Haiz. What a life.

I don't even feel like working le. So what that i have new environment, new work, new boss. I dun give a damn now. All i know is i need to break free. Break free from all thats troubling me.

ARGH!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!

Back from ktv session with gin and jie. But all turn out to be the worst outing ever. I can't really sing as i am upset and my voice sucks. Then I went off early.. strolling in the midst of busy busy orchard road.. i felt so lost. Called one pal after another.. But none are free. I comfort myself by listening to my mp3. But that din help. Went striaght home after that. Was tired.. cried on my way home in the bus. Was embarassing man.

strong as i may seems, i am so fragile when it comes to matters of the heart.

Lost, i am.

Give me space and time. I will overcome. I must.

It's nobody fault. I don't blame you.

I need a breather.

Decide to take away the former blog entry. I guess its too personal.

Things are not going my way.

What am i thinking?

Alrite.. finally a day for me to rest.. no work and play come my way for 2days.. Isn't it good? Time for me to pack up and stop messing my room. I need a shopping spree!! But i can't.. argh. never mind. Eyed on a levi's jean.. very nice. also the FCUK tee too.. oh.. so much so much but none i can buy. Have to save for braces and also for bangkok trip.. I wonder is it still on? Wtf.
Haiz... finally got time to catch up with friends.. but none of them are free.. Kinda wonder why do we have to work so hard yet we are unable to enjoy all the cash with our friends. Isn't it wasted that we have to slough so hard to earn that cash and yet when u wanna find someone out, it's so difficult? Oh well..
Who is willing to catch the musical Oi! Sleeping BEauty! with me????

Let's see... i have been sick for 3 days? Argh.. hate to be sick. I guess my body mechanism is teling me ..Hey, hey, let's take a break will u? So my body has been taking rest for 3 days.. mathematically.. not really 3 days la.. cos i work from 1 to 8pm today and sat i went out to buy gift for that someone. So i didn't really rest. My poor voice is losing her power.Damn. Sored. And I sounded like some 50 yr old granny. WTF. I dun care liao. Workin @ dental clinic wasn't as bad as i thought it will be. Time passes by quickly as patient pour in.

I will be heading my lady boss my resignation letter tml. I actually start to miss my colleague and workplace right now. Boo.. i can't wait to relax for the few days to catch up with sleep and also with pals.. Then head to a new environment for my first day of work. :)

Hopefully as time passes by, my wound will healed? Will it?